A MUMMERS PLAY FROM SOMERSET
Characters:- Fool, St George, Turkish Knight, Mother, Doctor, Little Johnny Jack, Devil Doubt, Big Head & (special for 2004) Old Froggie
Fool:- (bounds into room with bell ringing)
I open the door and I enter in I hope your favours we shall win
Stir up the fire and strike a light and see my merry boys act tonight
whether we stand or whether we fall we'll do our best to please you all
Whole Company:- (singing)
Wassail and wassail all over the town our cup it is white and our ale it is brown. Our cup it is made from the good old ashen tree and our ale is made from the best barley.
To our wassail, to your wassail, joy and hope come to our jolly wassail
Fool:-
Room, Room, brave people all, pray give us room to rhyme
We've to show activity this merry Christmas time
After me comes St George and all his noble train
and in this room, there shall be soon,
the most dreadful battle that ever was known
St George:-
In comes I St George, from England I did spring
and with my wondrous works now shall I begin
First in a dungeon I was shut up and left on a rocky stone
and that is where I made my sad and dismal moan
I fought the fiery dragon through and brought him to great slaughter
and by that wondrous deed I won, the king of Egypt's daughter
Turkish Knight:-
In comes I the Turkish Knight just back from Turkish lands to fight
I'll fight St George with Courage Bold
Why, if his blood's hot I'll make it cold.
St George:-
Down under thee I'll never bend, I never took thee to be my friend
Turkish Knight:-
My head is made of iron strong, my body's made of steel
My arms and legs are beaten brass and no man can make me feel
St George:-
Pull out your purse and pay, pull out your sword and fight
satisfaction I shall have before I leave this night
Turkish Knight:-
Battle to battle I will call and see who on the ground shall fall
St George:-
Battle to battle I shall cry and see who on the ground shall lie
(They fight and eventually TK is killed)
Mother:-
Oh cruel St George what have you done
You've wounded and slain my only son
St George:-
Behold, behold what have I done, I've cut him down like the evening sun
Is there a doctor to be found to raise this dead man from the ground
Fool:-
Yes there is a doctor to be found, to raise this dead man from the ground, so step in doctor
Doctor:-
In comes I Dr Good, with this hand I'll stop the blood
I'll stop the blood and heal the wound and raise this dead man from the groond
Fool:-
What can you cure Doctor?
Doctor:-
Why I can cure the hitch, stitch, palsy and the gout
all the pains within and all the pains without
why, if the devil is in this man, I'll fetch him out.
Mother:-
What's your fee doctor
Doctor:-
Ten pounds
Mother:-
Ten pounds!! I can't pay no such fee as that doctor
Doctor:-
Then saddle my horse, jack and I'll be gone
Mother:-
Wait, wait doctor dear I pray what's the lowest price for a poor old widow woman like me to pay
Doctor:-
nine pounds nineteen shillings and eleven pence halfpenny
and that's a halfpenny under price because you are such a poor old widow woman
Mother:-
Try your skill doctor
Doctor:-
Ladies and Gentlemen
you see I have here in my bag
a bottle of the Golden Slozenger Drops
and a box of the Germanic Pills
I put a drop on his forehead and a pill in his mouth
You see he moves one leg already
(pause with no action)
You see he moves one leg already
(TK kicks Doctor)
Another drop on his heart and rise up young man and play your part
Mother:-
Oh doctor dear prey take heed how can I repay you for this deed
Doctor:-
now listen madam and you take head, the money you promised is all that I need
Fool:-
Now that swords are cleared away come in you others and have your say
Johnny Jack:-
In comes I little Johnny Jack, with my family on my back
though my family be but small I scarce have bread and cheese to feed them all
Christmas comes but once a year and when it does it brings good cheer
so ladies and gentlemen give what you please little Johnny Jack will gratefully receive
Devil Doubt:-
In comes I devil doubt
if you don't give me money, I'll sweep you out
money I want and money I crave
If you don't give me money I'll blow you to your grave.
Big Head:-
In comes I who hasn't been yet
with my great big head and my little wit
my head is so big and my wit is so small
that I'll dance a jig to please you all
Old Froggie:-
In comes I the cunning frog
and in my hand I carry a log
I'll bash roast beef & mahmout too
and give my best wishes to all of you
Fool:-
Swords and stick can be to fight, we've seen today how kill they might
now here come some to show to you that sticks can be for dancing too.
(whole company performs stick dance "Not for Joe" and dances off)
